Another article from singer turned writer, Etcetera.

Another article from singer turned writer, Etcetera. See below...
Few weeks ago, I got a call from a friend asking me out for a drink, but I was already at the Lagos airport. "I'm not going to be around for the next few days," I told him. "I'm going to Abuja." His immediate reaction was
– "Why? What's wrong? Do you want to bore yourself to death?" That's the typical response I get whenever I tell someone I am travelling to Abuja. Abuja is a beautiful city with a terrible reputation for boredom. I have heard people in other cities speak of Lagos as a noisy, dirty and dangerous city filled with crazy people. In truth, everyone in Lagos is crazy. What else do you expect in a state crammed with 22 million people?

It must be a hell of a job for the governor and his officials keeping everyone under law and order daily. Lagos has a peculiar vibe that can't be found anywhere in the world, so much that "Lagos Hustle" is a commonly used phrase among Nigerians. I would rather go crazy living in Lagos than be bored to death in Abuja, Ibadan or Enugu. Abuja leaves you chewing your finger nails out of boredom. If you doubt me, whenever you have a visitor from Abuja, check his/her finger nails. They are always short and well chewed. Even the Hausa local nail trimmers have all migrated elsewhere due to the nail scarcity. It is said that people in Lagos argue for at least two hours daily. It is true; we love to generate arguments out of everything.

We argue everywhere, in buses and even during church services. Now Telemundo has become a cause for more argument among the girls here. So why are they surprised that we are crazy in this city? How many people can stay sane for long with the screams of Telemundo girls and the wailing sirens of police and government officials constantly beating their eardrums? Even the supposedly rugged Lagos rats can't bear it too, that's why they are always scampering from one gutter to another. If only we can understand what those rats would be saying to themselves about the cars with wailing sirens and flashing blue lights which have now become the city's official ride for big boys. Don't they know that it is by far the easiest way to advertise their arrivals to all the criminals in the city? Let's add all the roaring vehicle engines, blaring horns, the arguments of the association of free newspaper readers at every bus stop, the street preachers with megaphones every morning, the open trucks filled with dancing skimpy dressed models selling almost expired products, or the rickety tortoise cars with dead PA system selling gbogbonise and the CD/DVD sellers blasting latest naija vibes.

Anybody expecting to find a sane person in Lagos must be crazy indeed. It is like looking for a virgin in Nollywood. It is a city with an official soundtrack emanating from millions of generators rumbling constantly all through the day and night. But as crazy as it is in Lagos, I love it. I love the fact that it is like the city is divided in two halves, for non smokers and smokers. Or how can anyone explain to me why Apapa is always covered in thick smoke? Call it trailer exhaust fumes or smoke from burning tyres, what I know is that whenever I am passing through Apapa, it is as If I have suddenly walked into the smokers section of a night club.

I love the fact that this city doesn't discriminate. And that all the money of the rich offers no protection from the most trying aspect of life here. Aggression is imperative and timidity on the road is seized upon by everyone even pedestrians.

When driving, you are caught up, over-taken and honked at all at once. All drivers seem to be afflicted with honk sickness. You get in a taxi late at night when there isn't a single other car on the road, and the driver is still blasting his horn at five seconds intervals for the entire journey. It is even worse when the traffic is gridlocked. Ask the millions who experience this bottleneck from the mainland to the commercial districts on the

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